At Moving, we understand that you can sometimes regret moving when you have moved from a big city to a village. You may suddenly long for your old house and the familiar city life. It can also happen that you regret it when you notice that everyone knows each other in a small village and you hardly know anyone there. In this article, we will take you through common reasons for homesickness, share things you can do if you regret this big step and show you how you can feel at home in your new environment faster.
From a big city to a village
We also take into account the unpredictability of such a move. Some people moved to the countryside during corona. Others were in the Randstad and moving to a village seemed attractive to them because they wanted a bigger house or a big garden. In practice, however, it can be disappointing if you notice that there is little contact or that you feel narrow-minded. Maybe you even feel bad about the mistake you think you made. Yet you are not alone. We hear these stories regularly and we would like to help you.
People who moved from a big city to a village: why, and was it a good choice?
Many people moved from A to B because they had too little space in the city. For example, they wanted a piece of land to start a vegetable garden or their own driveway to park the car. Some found their dream house via funda and decided to move to a new place, while they were actually born and raised in the city.
When you move to a village..
Was that a good choice? That depends on your personality. The new home can be a nice place if you are looking for peace and quiet and our old neighborhood was too busy. At the same time, the unfamiliarity of a new city or village can be quite intense. You may notice that you miss the old life or that you find the local social control too close. If everyone knows each other but no one knows you, you can feel excluded.
We like to live comfortably
Always think about what you are looking for in a place to live. Do you like spontaneous visits to museums and concert halls? Then a hamlet or small village far from everything can make you gloomy. However, if you want a more spacious house and fewer stimuli, then moving to a new environment can actually provide peace. Above all, know that this choice is very personal. What works out perfectly for one person will not work as well for another.
Regret your new home or homesickness: you are not alone
We often hear that people regret their move or feel homesick. This feeling of nostalgia can be temporary, especially when you are still getting used to your new place of residence. Some people have moved and discovered that their old place of residence had many advantages, such as good public transport connections or a lively neighbourhood. If you then end up in a village where you see that there are hardly any shops or cafés, homesickness sets in more quickly.
This is how we like our house to be just the way we want it
However, you are not alone. We regularly speak to people who wanted to move to a new location because they thought they would spend less money or because they had been struggling with enormous space problems in recent years. Later, they noticed that this move that now has them living outside the city does not only have advantages. The unpredictability of village life and the lack of contact with new neighbours can be annoying every day.
One thing is certain: you can take this regret seriously. When homesick for your old home or our old neighborhood, concrete actions help to regain control of your feelings. Then you don't have to want to move back right away.
5 Things to Do When You Regret Moving
Have you moved from a big city to a village and don't know what to do? Don't worry. Here are five tips you can use if you regret it:
Find out what's going on and look at common reasons
Ask yourself why you don't like your current home. Is it because you're unfamiliar with the neighborhood? Or do you simply miss your good friends? A clear insight shows you which things that could happen to you affect you the most.
Focus on positives when moving to a village
Look at what is good. Maybe you enjoy that big garden, the detached house or the space for your children to play. Write down those advantages. You will notice that it helps.
Keep in touch with your old network by meeting up every weekend
Don't look for your old life entirely in your new surroundings, but stay close. Meet up with friends from the city, invite them to your new home or plan a visit every weekend. Then it feels less like you've left everything behind.
Making new good friends
We recommend that you get active. Join a sports club or go to a community centre. Getting to know people sometimes takes courage and time. However, this way you get closer to the village and it becomes a place where you really feel at home.
Give yourself time
You have taken a big step and that can be quite a shock, especially if you come from the Randstad. Give yourself a year to get used to it. Maybe you will discover that you will actually appreciate the unpredictability of village life. And if it still doesn't work, you can always go back or look for another place. For example, always give yourself time to get used to public transport. That way you will quickly overcome the worst things and you can quickly get to know the area better.
Table: Advantages and disadvantages of moving to a new environment
| Factor | Advantages | Cons |
|---|---|---|
| Home and garden | Possibly a larger house, detached or with a large garden | More maintenance and higher costs for garden and house |
| Distance and transportation | Sometimes a quieter journey or a private driveway | Long travel time, especially if you live minutes away from everything |
| Social life | In small villages you sometimes feel a connection more quickly because everyone knows each other | Little contact when you are new and don't know anyone yet |
| Costs and budget | It may cost less money than in the city | Any additional expenses because shops and amenities are further away |
| Environment and atmosphere | Peace, nature and less stress in the countryside | A feeling of nostalgia when your old home in the city was hectic but familiar |
| Future plans | Great opportunity for spacious living with lots of potential | You may feel narrow-minded when you realize you don't fit into village life |
How to overcome moving depression after a move?
You feel down and maybe you think you made a mistake. You don't experience any pleasure in the new place and you wonder if you will ever stay in the village or if you would rather go back. We at Moving often see that such a moving depression comes from a lack of stability.
Try to find a way to restore your rhythm. Talk to others. This can be with your in-laws living in the neighborhood if they are nearby or via online forums for new villagers. Sometimes it is good to get professional help if the depression feels too heavy. After all, you do not want it to bother you every day. You can also get a dog. Take it everywhere with you and then you are gone for a whole day. It has been proven that walking with the dog is good for depression.
Case study village girl – from city person to village person (or not?)
Think of Jeroen and Sanne. They lived in the city, but we moved to a village on the other side of the country. They thought our old neighborhood was too busy, so they wanted to do their best to make the new village their home. However, they were unpleasantly surprised by the social control and the lack of culture. After a year and a half ago, they noticed that they still missed their old life. They decided to move to a nearby new city or village that was a bit bigger. That's where we live now, and they like it better. They are no longer in a hamlet, but also no longer in the busy city center.
Moving without worries? Tips and advice
We at Moving know how difficult such a move can be. That is why we would like to share some practical advice:
If you want to minimize stress, hire a moving company.
They arrange the transport and make sure your belongings arrive safely at their destination. They know exactly what needs to be done. This way you don't have to worry about anything.
Make room for emotions.
It is normal to have doubts and regrets. Don't try to suppress those feelings. Let your emotions flow because bottling them up makes no one happy.
Check Funda if you are still considering moving.
You can see what is for sale in another place that suits your wishes. That way you can see if you have not made the right choice after all. Maybe you see other homes and think hmm.. I am actually quite happy here.
Plan exploratory trips.
Visit the village or town you might want to go to. Walk the streets and talk to the residents. Ask friends and acquaintances to go out for a day together.
Look to your future.
Where do you want to live in five years? Are you a real city person or would a quieter village suit you better? Choose the path that suits you. Maybe you can do a test beforehand to see what suits you best.
Give yourself the chance to feel at home
Regret, homesickness and things you can do to become happy again with where you are going to live: it is all an emotional process. That move that has you living in a village can feel heavy at first. You may have moved for financial reasons, or you were looking for more greenery in a nice place. Still, the unfamiliarity of the small village can be overwhelming. We advise you to give it time and make new friends step by step and explore your new surroundings.
Maybe move back in with your parents?
If you notice that it really isn't working, you can choose to go back to your old environment. It's not a failure. Sometimes you only discover what you really need after a major change. We hope that these insights and tips will help you get a better grip on your situation. Parents often give you a sense of security and this is an important reason for people to temporarily live with their parents before they move again. Feel free to contact us if you have any questions about moving to a village or if you could use our help with your next step. We at Moving are here for you.
