At Moving, we understand how complicated it can feel to move back in with your parents after a divorce. You may see it as a quick fix, but it will change your living situation considerably. In this article, you can read all about the financial consequences, allowances, social housing, and about temporarily living with your parents. We share examples, tips, and experiences so that you know exactly what to think about and how to properly arrange this phase.

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Living with your parents again

Your world can be turned upside down when you get divorced. You not only lose a shared home, but also the familiar environment that you once shared. This can be emotionally difficult. Many then decide to consider living at home again, because living with your parents offers both financial and practical advantages. This way you can work towards a new home in peace. However, this choice also entails additional costs and changes in the living situation. We at Moving want to help you understand how to arrange this properly, whether you have a lower income, a higher income or somewhere in between.

Living at home again is a different living situation

Sometimes you have to act quickly, especially if you are experiencing a housing shortage. Perhaps you need shelter immediately and only want to think about finding a rental home in the rental sector later. Experience shows that it is better to sort out all the details sooner rather than later. These details range from municipal taxes to possible influence on rent allowance. This article will help you not to forget anything and to make your period afterwards run more smoothly.

Why do people choose to move back in with their parents after a divorce?

Many divorced people notice how expensive housing is these days. When you move back in with your parents, you often don't have to pay high rent right away. You avoid the rising housing costs. That gives you time to save and to look at the options on the market for rental properties or homes for sale. You prevent yourself from becoming homeless or having to share a couch with friends or acquaintances.

Temporary living can be nice

Furthermore, many people find it pleasant to have each other nearby. Your parents can provide emotional support, especially when children are involved. When children have a stable network with grandparents, this can sometimes provide peace after a turbulent period. Children living at home feel more secure with grandpa and grandma than in an unfamiliar environment. This often works well for minor children as well.

Finding a home or moving in with your parents

Research by CBS shows that most people prefer to live independently, but due to the high prices for social housing and the restrictions on income requirements, this is not always possible right away. Living together temporarily can then feel like a practical solution.

Back to your parents

Make a plan, because temporarily living with your parents sounds easy, but there are quite a few things to consider. When you decide that you are going to live with their parents again, it is smart to determine a duration and a goal. Maybe you will only stay for a few months, because you will soon have social housing. Or you will stay for a year after the divorce, until you have saved enough money for your own place. Clearly agree on the path you want to follow.

Example living with parents

Suppose you have just gotten divorced and your income is lower than before. You are looking for a new home, but due to the housing shortage you cannot find anything affordable in your municipality. You decide to move back in with your parents, so that you can wait on the waiting list for social housing without panicking. This step gives you some breathing space. You have more money left to pay off debts, and your parents get some help around the house in return. In this way, every household benefits from the situation.

The consequences for allowances, benefits and taxes

Consequences for allowances are often complex. The size of the household and the number of people at an address determine whether you are entitled to rent allowance or care allowance. Registering with the municipality at your parents' address is essential, but this can affect your parents' rent allowance if they live in social housing. It's nice that your parents are taking you back in, but this can have consequences with regard to an allowance partner. Therefore, always make sure that you check everything carefully first.

Living together can be difficult..

Municipal taxes such as sewage charges and waste disposal charges often increase when more people live at one address. Check the rates, because it can cost you and your parents extra. The municipality can also look at the number of adults in the house to determine whether you are less entitled to benefits.

Points of attention and the consequences for social assistance benefits

If you are a single parent or otherwise receive social assistance, the municipality can apply the cost-sharing standard. This standard means that you can receive lower social assistance because you share the costs of housing with others. If your parents already receive social assistance, your presence can also affect their benefits.

Register with the municipality?

Practical tip: Check with the municipality how they apply the cost-sharing standard. This way you avoid surprises. On the website of the Tax Authorities you can then read more about allowance partner constructions and other regulations.

Social housing: is there still a house to be found?

Perhaps you want to move into a social housing unit yourself in the future. If so, take into account:

Waiting lists: These can be long.
Income requirements: In social housing, tenants may not exceed a certain income limit.
Points of attention when registering: If one of your parents lives in social housing, he or she must report that you are going to live there. Otherwise, the housing corporation may think that there is cohabitation on incorrect grounds.

Finding a rental property can be quite difficult in the current market. However, many people find success by registering early and using different channels. Don't be discouraged if it takes a long time. Moving back home temporarily is not a failure, but rather a step forward to standing on your own two feet later. To find a place to live, you might ask friends or acquaintances for tips on rent-to-own properties.

Always make good agreements

When your parents are registered at an address and you move in, this can cause confusion. Prevent misunderstandings. Clearly state what you expect from your parents and what they can expect from you. This applies to financial matters and household tasks. It is therefore always wise to have an open conversation before you pack your bags.

Discuss the financial implications: Who pays for groceries and energy bills?
Make arrangements about grocery shopping, especially if you both work or have different routines.
Make good agreements about privacy. You are an adult child, no longer a child in the sense of upbringing. Prevent irritations by respecting each other's boundaries.

Don't forget the practical matters

Every move requires action, even if you move back in with your parents.

Change of address: You officially register at your parents' address with the municipality. This is crucial for consequences for allowances and tax matters.
Insurance: Check whether you need to be separately insured for your household effects. Perhaps your parents want those agreements in writing.
Municipal taxes: Sewerage charges and waste charges usually change when more people live at one address. This can be a lot more expensive than before.

Don't forget your own business

It is sometimes tempting to join in with the parental home. However, we advise you to maintain your independence, also when "housing" with your parents, so that you can easily move on to a new home.

Financial planning: If necessary, work with a budget coach or consult the Nibud for tips. This way you can save better and make good use of your income.
Emotional balance: A divorce is hard, even when you are back in a familiar environment. Talk about it with a friend, coach or therapist.
Own goal: Think about what you really want. Do you want to look for a home to buy, or would you rather stay in the rental sector? A clear path motivates you to live independently again sooner.

Often homeless after divorce

Many people who are just getting divorced do not have to find a place to live right away. They sometimes end up on friends’ couches or in their parents’ guest rooms. This is known as “hidden homelessness.” It is temporary, but for some it lasts a long time. Most parents want to help their child, but it is important to realize that finding a place to live can take a while. If you feel that it is becoming unbearable, you can consider talking to the social services in your municipality.

Higher incomes also in trouble

Some people believe that only people with a lower income are forced to continue living with their parents. That is not true. The housing market is so tight that even people with higher incomes experience a lot of inconvenience. They also sometimes have residual debt after selling the joint home, which makes the search for a new home difficult. After the divorce, arranging everything again is important.

Divorce and moving are never fun

You then end up in a situation where you have a good job, but do not meet the income requirements of the housing corporations, or are too short on the waiting list for social housing. The result is that even people with a decent salary can decide to temporarily live with their parents to avoid high costs.

Divorce and moving with a child: is it allowed?

Divorce and moving with a child: what happens in practice?

When children are involved in the divorce, it becomes a bit more complicated. You can't just move in or move out if there is a contact arrangement. In practice, you often see that parents look together at the children in the game and what is best for them. Often the other parent agrees, certainly if the distance is not enormous.

Consent to divorce and move with child

You usually need permission if you move to another municipality with minor children. If your ex-partner does not agree, he or she can go to court. The judge will look at the welfare of the children and the agreements you made.

In such a lawsuit, arguments about financial consequences, employment and the influence on the size of the household are taken into account. So do you want to move together with a new partner? Always check the legal rules and possible municipal procedures first.

Your ex-partner does not agree with the move

If your ex-partner appears to have objections, mediation can sometimes help you to reach an agreement. The judge has the final say if you really cannot reach an agreement. In that case, carefully record everything, for example why you have to find a house in another region. State that a parental network can help you with childcare. Show that you are not moving randomly, but consciously and in the interest of the children.

Emotional and psychological impact

A divorce affects you emotionally. Even when you move back in with your parents, that impact remains. You may feel guilty or ashamed, and your parents don't always understand what's going through your mind.

Sometimes you struggle with the thought that you have lost your own place. That struggle is normal. Try to acknowledge that you are going through a transition. It helps to talk to your parents about your insecurities. Share your feelings with good friends. Consider talking to a psychologist if you get stuck. You do not have to solve this on your own.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does temporary living in an accommodation affect my housing benefit?

Yes. The Tax Authorities look at the size of the household and the joint income in the house. Always check the Tax Authorities website and your rental contract.

Can I continue to register for my own social housing if I live with my parents?

Yes, but you must actively maintain your registration with housing corporations. Don't forget that finding a home in social housing can often take years.

Do I have to register directly with my parents?

Yes, because otherwise this can cause problems with allowances, tax assessments and municipal administration. In addition, your municipality can issue fines if you are not registered at the correct address.

What about municipal taxes?

These can increase due to additional residents at one address. Check your municipality's website to see if the waste disposal tax or sewerage tax will be given a new rate.

What if my ex-partner does not give permission for the children to move?

Then try mediation. If that doesn't help, the judge will decide. Children in the game make every move more sensitive, so put your arguments in order.

Good preparation is important

Moving back in with your parents after a divorce can give you stability in an uncertain period. You avoid high housing costs and you benefit from emotional support. We at Moving do advise you to make good agreements about privacy, costs and finances. It is also important to understand the consequences for allowances and benefits. If you want to extend temporary living, make sure you keep communicating with your parents about how long you will be staying. This way you keep the atmosphere pleasant and you retain control over your future.

Do you have a lower income? Or are you still stuck with a higher income, because the rental sector is becoming overcrowded? Then living at home again is not crazy. See it as an intermediate phase that helps you continue to look for a home. You are not the first and certainly not the last to choose this route.

Moving back in with parents after divorce