Divorce and move somewhere else
At Moving, we notice that many people wonder how far they can move after a divorce. You may have a new job, want to move closer to family, or hope for a fresh start in a different city. At the same time, you wonder whether a move will affect visitation rights, parental authority, and travel costs. In this article, you can read how the judge looks at such issues and how you can prevent problems. These are important considerations.
Moving after divorce: distance and criteria
You may not want to continue living near each other when you are just getting divorced. However, there are important questions to consider when considering a large distance. It is not just a question of how many kilometers you are allowed to move, but also the extent to which the move affects the interests of the child. You cannot take this decision lightly, because maintaining co-parenting is difficult when you live far apart. Staying close to each other is nice.
Why distance and travel distance are so important
A few extra kilometres can sometimes make a big difference. If you move 10 kilometres apart, the travel time is still manageable. But if one of the parents moves outside a radius of 50 or even 100 kilometres as the crow flies, you will encounter practical problems. Remember that you may have to make new agreements about who brings and picks up the children, especially if you have joint custody. The travel distance can also have financial consequences: extra fuel costs or higher public transport fares. If you want to accommodate the other, you can talk about financial compensation or other arrangements. If a parent moves outside a radius of a certain number of kilometres, everything can become a bit more difficult for the child. Therefore, always move somewhere that is still close to your child.
Is there a maximum distance or a kilometer as the crow flies rule?
The Netherlands does not have a fixed maximum distance for living after a divorce. Judges mainly look at the reasons for the move, the consequences for the visitation rights and the extent to which the move may be harmful to the children. If you have a single-parenting plan together and share custody of the children, you must discuss the plans to move. You cannot simply move further away and expect everything to remain the same. One parent can always ask the other parent and they can always exercise joint custody. In this way, you have custody and you prevent any problems.
Overview of factors:
| Factor | Possible consequence | Remark |
|---|---|---|
| Travel distance & travel time | Can complicate visitation arrangements | Additional costs or time for both parents |
| Interest of the child | Judge looks at stability and social network | Children often benefit from regular contact between you and the other parent |
| New place of residence (city or town) | Can child support change if costs change? | Sometimes the judge asks for additional proof of necessity |
| New relationship or new job | May necessitate relocation | Talk to the other parent about this and consider seeking help from a mediator |
| Age of the children | Older children are often allowed to participate in decision-making | In the case of young children, the judge attaches more importance to continuity and proximity |
No permission: what if you really want to live further away?
Some divorced parents only realize how complicated moving after a divorce can be when their ex-partner does not agree. Perhaps you are considering moving to another country or hoping to put a lot of miles between you and your ex-partner. You do not make such a decision lightly. It can have consequences for the amount of child support, the travel time and the visitation rights.
Moving after a divorce. When do you need permission?
Do you and your ex-partner have joint custody? Then you must officially request permission if you are moving to a new place of residence that affects the existing care arrangement. One parent may not unilaterally decide to move far away. If there is a large distance, you run the risk that the other parent will request substitute permission from the court to block the move. You probably want to avoid that, because legal proceedings cost time and money. For example, you can ask the court if you are allowed to move, but this can be an expensive and difficult task if your ex-partner really does not agree. In that case, he or she is a lagging parent. Of course, both of you must prevent related problems and comply with the rules when children are involved.
How does a judge assess where you will live after the divorce?
The judge puts the interests of the child first. He checks, among other things, whether the relocating parent acts reasonably and whether the other parent gives permission without coercion. Sometimes the new job is of great importance to your income. In that case, the judge understands, but he also looks at whether the children are rooted in their current environment. In the event of a move to another part of the country, the judge may ask whether you can maintain co-parenting or whether you draw up a new contact arrangement together.
What to do if the ex-partner moves without permission?
You can ask the judge to intervene if the ex-partner simply moves. The court can decide that the moving parent must return, especially if you exercise joint custody. Such a ruling may sound drastic, but judges do this to protect the interests of the children. Try to avoid this and seek help from a mediator in time. A mediator can guide you to negotiate thoughtfully about revising the parenting plan.
Co-parenting is all about the children
In co-parenting, you divide care tasks and you both want a close bond with the children. A large distance often makes that difficult. You can see it as a dance: only if you walk together, you keep moving to the same music.
Co-parents look at the interests of the child
You can't determine everything from your own situation. Children like to keep their school, friends and sports in the same neighbourhood. They feel safe in their familiar environment. If you want to maintain co-parenting, it helps to visit each other instead of moving far apart. If you do move, you will have to make new agreements about the costs and travel times. The age of the children also plays a role, because teenagers have more say than young toddlers.
Is a parenting plan mandatory for divorced parents?
When you file for divorce in the Netherlands and you have minor children, a parenting plan is mandatory. You record agreements in it about the visitation rights, the amount of child support and the way in which you communicate. You can revise the parenting plan if one of the parents moves or if other major changes occur. You must exercise authority together and adhere to the agreements made, unless the judge gives permission for a change.
A good example of a visiting arrangement
Sanne wanted to move after a divorce because of her new partner. She was about to move 100 kilometers further. Jeroen feared that he would see his daughter less. With the help of a mediator, they made clear agreements. Sanne reimburses Jeroen's travel expenses and drives to Jeroen's place of residence twice a month. Thanks to these agreements, their daughter can grow up safely and the bond with both parents remains strong. A new maintenance calculation for one parent can also help.
Choose the assistance that best suits your move and situation
Changes in residences are stressful and sometimes lead to arguments. Fortunately, you don't have to solve everything on your own.
Divorce? Both parents need help from a mediator
A mediator can help you as co-parents as a kind of guide. He or she will guide the conversation in the right direction and ensure that you listen to each other's needs. When you engage a mediator, you often avoid having to go to court. Mediators mainly take the interests of the child into account and offer room for smart solutions. Perhaps you agree that you will drive to the other parent a little more often or that you will share additional costs together. Also think about a new visitation arrangement or adjusted care arrangement.
Living apart and legal steps
Sometimes the situation is too complex or the other parent does not want to cooperate. You can ask the judge to obtain substitute permission from the judge if the ex-partner really refuses to cooperate. The court will then assess whether you have a valid reason to move and whether the child will not be the victim of that choice. The judiciary wants to avoid escalation as much as possible, but if the interests of the child are at stake, the judge can take strict action. This sometimes means that the parent is not allowed to move or that the contact arrangement changes drastically.
With a visitation arrangement everything will be fine
A long distance can sometimes sound like a fresh start. However, moving after a divorce can be accompanied by conflicts and misunderstandings. Think carefully about the impact on your children and the visitation arrangements. You are allowed to move, but the judge will check whether the child is not in trouble and whether you can maintain co-parenting. Talk to each other in time and consider help from a mediator to prevent stress and lawsuits. You as parents both remain responsible, so make sure you do not forget each other's interests. Every situation is unique, so read up on it carefully or seek advice from a legal expert.
Do you have any questions?
Do you have any questions or do you notice that your ex-partner is moving without your permission? Do not hesitate to contact us. We at Moving are happy to think along with you and help you to come to well-considered agreements. Would you like to share this article with others who also want to know how many km you are allowed to move after a divorce? Then feel free to forward it. Good luck with arranging your move and remember that you always put the interests of the child first.
